Sunday, January 12, 2020

You Say I Have It All

     I live in a state of having-yet-not-having. I have a partner, yet he loves someone else. I have a car, but it's at work with the partner all day. We have a dog with no time for it. We have a house, but it's not ours. I have things to decorate it with - they're all packed away. We have hot water, but the boiler's broken. We have money - in someone else's pocket. I live in a state of not-dead-yet-not-alive. In a state of possibility. Please teach me to get to the essence.

Thursday, January 9, 2020

Bowling Alley Island of Trash

     That island was once an epicenter of party galore among the rich & the rich. Some guy bought it and lived it out to the best of everyone's ideas, making it into a great big bowling alley. But they trashed it, you see. Now there's an island of trash just floating in the ocean. So Sarabee & I took a ferry to it, as a tour. Because that's all it's worth now - a gawking scene where a simple mortal wasn't allowed before, and a ferryman's fortune.

Image result for island of trash

     "Did you notice that?" - perked up my brain. 
I could have really used you fifteen minutes ago, - I thought. It ignored me.
"That song didn't have an ending... it just faded away. Did you catch that?" And it covered me in a heavy quilt of nostalgia.

Image result for 90s tape cassette art

Sunday, December 29, 2019

No Ceiling

     Once I left Earth and went into space, where I boarded a massive brown ship. There were many creatures on it. I approached a group in long brown dresses, and out of all the questions in the world, I asked this one, for some strange reason: "Are there diseases that are incurable?" The answer was no, there aren't. And for an incurable disease to appear, the whole Universe would have to restructure itself.

Image result for brown dark sacred vector

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Gravitational Waves

The pillar of force behind his eyes
the same power I see in me
when I let myself feel deeply, 
in solitude.
The pillar of aquamarine with a gust of sky
wakes me up,
my senses remember the eternity;
the might, the potency, the wealth
of where we are,
of who we are.
I dare be myself,
I dare you to boldness of existence.

Image result for blue macro iris art"

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Visual Dessert

     Take your 2nd year in college. Roll it up into a long tube and cut in half, diagonally. Now watch the 3D black-and-white movie inside. 

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

"Купи мне пятницу тоже."

     Вот она, детская непосредственность, которой мне так сильно не хватает. Когда я начинаю думать и мечтать такими оборотами, врывается моя взрослость и начинает рисовать все возможные и придуманные материально-технические вопросы, портящие всю картину. Долой! - должна я кричать сразу. "Долой", - уже кричу я вслух!

Стихи Марии Чайковской:

Я буду в пятницу, 
ты закажи два билета в цирк. 
Я буду в пятницу, 
ты купи новый мотоцикл. 
Я буду в пятницу, 
ты останься, пожалуйста, жив. 
Я буду в пятницу, 
я, я буду, как ты просил. 
Купи мне игрушек - я буду хорошей, 
я буду плохой с тобой. 
Купи мне тот город, 
в котором смогу я совсем без одежд, нагой. 
Купи мне то море, 
в котором все рыбы и все корабли мои. 
Купи мне то небо и всё, 
что между от земли. 
Я буду в пятницу, 
ты скажи им у тебя выходной. 
Я буду в пятницу, 
ты будь лично, пожалуйста, мой. 
Я буду в пятницу, 
я еще не знаю в какую, но всё же. 
Я буду в пятницу - 
купи мне пятницу тоже.

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Otono flies have taken over the house. 
The water is leaving, exposing vulnerabilities.
Season of memories. 
Moments of reflection in whispers of rising steam
Trying to warm up the universe, make it a home.

Art by Willard Wigan

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Sister Circle

     I am Alisa. I am 36 years old (I calculated this a week ago, that's how I know). I am a mother of two, sometimes three, kids. And that's pretty much all I know. My journey to myself started when my kids chose me as a parent. I've never been a woman and stayed away from other women. I had never accepted my womanhood, called it names, joked about it. My body was a shell to be rid of. My relationship with my parents was formal. And my love relationships kept falling apart.
     Today, I am in love with my children, my partner, my life, and I'm learning to be a woman in this lifetime. I am on a path to self-discovery, finding magic I've been longing for, learning the laws of the Universe, experimenting with every aspect of being. I am a student. I am a woman. I am human. I am strong and weak. I am a force. I am a child. And I'd like to turn all these "I"s into "We".
     What I would like to ask all the women in the community is to participate in a circle. A Circle of Sisterhood, if you will. We can name it something beautiful together. You and I, and every woman we know has a lot to offer - we're goddesses, women, girls, students, artists, mystics, shamans, healers, chefs, frequency holders, emotional containers, atoms, dancers, yogis, body workers, musicians, whisperers, astrologers, psychics, gardeners, witches, seamstresses, actresses, weavers, dreamers, alchemists, creators, muses; we're full of love, happiness, desires, emotional needs, we're hysterical and funny; and sometimes we're also stressed, lost, helpless, tired, sick, angry, unhappy, unwilling to ask for help, unable to accept love. Some of us have children, some don't. Some have husbands, some are divorced, some are seeking a good man. Or a good time.
     Here's my vision: taking into account all of the above, we, women, can gather, learn, discuss, exchange, share, discover together, hold space for sacred and, when needed, secretive. We can build each other up, inspire our daughters, grow with our sons, get to know our neighbors, help those in need, celebrate & recreate holidays, find ancient wisdoms, and just be. And by grand communal support we can create happy families, strong relationships. We can learn to belly laugh and dance and cry and hug the moon. Our souls are forever intertwined, and the possibilities are as vast and grand as the Universe. Will you join?

Art by Carrie Martinez

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Фукуле/Fukule. Let go.

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Control Issues: Fall of the Summer

     It's overwhelming. People's lives are much overflowing with every emotion & every possible event. I feel all of it, and it's too much. I yearn to be alone, by myself - the only time I open up. In that empty space I am free, and I can feel myself, be me. Yet, there's little hope for advancement in solitude. Eventually I'd have to go out and spy, interact, react and take in. Please, me, let's be like flowing water - transparent in all ways, not letting anything get stuck, just flow, flow... and learn.

Photo: stolen

Thursday, April 4, 2019

     He told me: "He printed a program for everyone. You have to realize, in those times not everyone could afford a rain umbrella, yet he always had a program for everyone who came to his concerts. How did he do it?!" Now that was some perspective. And a damn good question.

Photo: Ted Forbes

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

The unmentionables

      Just on a physical plane, we spend about 9 months being formed, then years growing, perfecting - stroke after stroke, layer after layer, inch by inch - and end up with a Human Body. A system so amazing, a lifetime isn't enough to appreciate it, to learn it, to discover all it can do. A self-healing organism able to overcome anything. So complicated and beautiful, our bodies take our breath away, we even want to own more than one sometimes. Then we start to disrespect it - we poison it with food and drink, substances, chemicals, negative thoughts and destructive ideas. This is mind-blowing. You, we have a body; that fact alone contains so much happiness. What a gift! open it. We're all going to leave it someday, enjoy it every day. Explore, experiment, love, take care.

Photo: Craig Tracy body art

Monday, April 1, 2019

Go talk to her

   I'm listening to myself talk. No, scratch that. I'm listening to a recording of my conversation with a channeler. And I think to myself - if I didn't know the person talking (myself), what would I think of her? I think I would like to meet her, she seems interesting. What is she like? - I wonder. What am I like? I don't know. You don't know yourself?! You can't be serious. Where's the curiosity? Where have you been - lived a whole life with yourself and don't even know... how strange... We're strangers.

Illustration: Genevieve Bormes

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Space that doesn't curve

     Blue in Green has overwhelmed me today. Memories had rushed back, memories of amazing musicians whose talent I got to bask in. I would wrap myself in music almost every day of my life, for years, and visit hidden worlds. The gratitude I feel towards all who share their love for life through art of everything is ... indescribable, immense, Hokusai's Wave big. I remember love because of them - the kind that comes from between our lives. I better go listen now, before the song ends...