At 5.30 every day 

to the sound of a song 

I can't help but feel

how comfortable I just got

9 мая это всегда сложно: слёзы, грусть, остальные серые мысли, ловя момент, начинают свой меланхоличный танец. Что-то между "Мои дети растут в эмоционально кастрированной стране" и "Когда уже отпуск". А под вечер так совсем! Уже сама без сил, и начала мужиков жалеть. Женщины они такие, всемогущие - сама все финансы покрывает, интересные разговоры в душе ведёт, цветы дома в вазах, карьера над лестницей, за детей спокойна, в списке контактов всё по делу, подруги классные, на танцполе звезда, выглядит классно для себя, и ведь ещё и здорова. И что он может ей дать? Вот нахрена он отечество защищал? Одна надежда на то, что она не забудет, зачем родилась. Аааа, а чтобы любить. Дерзайте, I guess.

PRDS

I grew up with bathtubs 

full of flowers and watermelon

with love shown everywhere

with generosity and care

in times of questionable ground 

And I connect on those levels

of djan and humanness galore

Let's fill your bathtub with cold

water 

It's summer, cake, and someone's 

birthday

Complex nonlinear mechanisms

without pattern or prediction

Some of us found bliss in chaos

others just depression

Kids' play, adults' battlefield

But there's another way

to life. You with me?

There used to be it

now I want its place

Any thing, practically

could be overcome

The fresh start of mornings

vibes of holidays, new years

beginnings

Always taste of newness

happy surprises, demanding

open hearts

Take out, shake out the smiles

My darling Monday

I now deem you as

weekend recovery day 

So bring on all your

hot nurses, massages and

non-caffeinated gifts from

Gods

I've started to love 

all the events of my life

good terrible and great

For they formed who I am

and how can I not celebrate

me

A time when everything exists

together

at night

We talk about happiness

and your belly is rounded

It's profound in ways

I can't describe

Nothing like a bouquet

to keep oneself

on my mind all day

Everyday

Outside of collective

experience 

the paths are only yours

no maps, no opinions

You lead now, create that

space

"Find someone who challenges you 

with ten times your goals - 

and learn to listen to them."

Every day I throw myself

at chance

Every day uprooted

unknown, somewhat like

yesterday but not 

Life on a prayer

Just a dream

The only squid among

the octopi eats boulders

to show me new structures

And I decide for a new id

My heart spiral isn't catching 

inspiration at the end of most

months

So I'm forcing it out of

survival. Art laughing

moon drinking, road tripping

and all the vast spacing

Listening to the wind 

dialoguing with all things

What if I were to give up

let myself be anything

and let it crash against

not me? What would that

sound like

I finally exclaimed inside my cells

Stop micromanaging the universe

It's had enough of you, don't you still

have some cake? Go at it, and please chill

Yesterday

a massacre

Today - cake

This isn't a documentary

of pchychos & the crazed

Just a woman's day 

in a life of this plane

В разрезе

I went through hell

Left my soul there

Until today 

I revisited every one 

white chalked them all 

in precise detail

Left fresh last tears 

as a symbol

My new Me

Now I dance

This is a field story

we're all in it

Аз қалғанда and

I'm about to sow 

some exotica stuff