We often turn to symbol interpretation when an animal crosses our path. We also live among those animals and some of them we see daily. So what's this land telling us? What is its rhythm? And how often do you speak your intentions out loud? That's my next experiment. 

Today my priority is one thing at a time.

You know, no one likes a fast driver. Deer and all. Dogs. Facebook group discussions. Shame. Speed of light files a report against you with cold government agencies. You show up in the newspaper in the Crime Report column with cryptic "Crestone female, 32, $1M bail set." But there's certain fun in time competing with the GPS.

To be the only adult in the room 

I had to learn to fall 

without self-destruction

or explanation of some factors

conditions, terms, unsatisfactions

I live in cycles, scales, spaces

And none can level unless they're

already standing

Release the bowstring 

feel your face

What's all this pressure for

I experienced the most intense system recalibration this morning, which unlocked the reason for literally every negative event in my life since I can remember myself. Sounds too woo-woo, eh? 

June 2025 I met a man who was, like many of them in my life, brilliant. Yet he lived like a bum and didn't ask for more. For years I thought that the idea of patrons of the arts needs to come back and create a new lineage - patrons of genius minds. Those minds, who come up with world-changing creations, or sometimes (I'm not even afraid to say it) ideas that restructure the universe with their newness, those minds usually don't think in terms of money. 

Listening to that man in June I suddenly realized that patrons are not needed. Because it's all in the nervous system and his body language was my inspiration. An experiment was born. No one wanted to talk to me about their knowledge of the nervous system, nor desired to become the lab rat. So I became it. Can normalizing one's whole system bring wholesome success to any person? 

Today my grief is heavier than cement in lungs. Not depression, but expected sorrow, paired with excitement that's unfathomable in its proportions. We'll see what happens next. But I could be right this time LOL

I shake & sob for

all the time I spent acquiring

ideals, circumstances & events 

that now compose my grief:

disappointment, anger, hate

While tears pour

I hug this smile:

I allow myself to bliss 

With my nose up

in a cup of chai

(the red, not the kind

that takes my blood

back 20 years) 

I let the dusk colours 

toy with truth & mix

in me. Horizon stripes

lay on mountain sides

in a double-exposure play

of life

My kids' great-grandmother Hanne Strong GG is in need of help. 

Please donate, the amount needed now will mostly likely double. 

Now what

the question that

many feel

in face of crisis

and unpredictable events 

Now what? -

a game of practicing 

loss of control

Is I'm sorry - 

one of the squares?

I've discovered such

incredible

complete pleasure

within myself

that I must retreat

to enjoy. See ya

Of course you've seen it - same thing can be both a basic for one and a luxury for another. For me it's the shower. I tiptoe around the concept (it's a learned behaviour). You might conceive great ideas in the shower, I catch them outside of one, due to circumstances. The absence of safe, peaceful shower time has me thinking about baselines and growth, because you know, the best things grow out of dirt.

Suffering is just a sign

Blissful enjoyment is not deserved -

a state out of which everything

flows with ease

So good, this moment

If a fox crosses your path, if a raven crows in the west between noon and 3pm, if you put a pair of red underwear on a chandelier, or eat grapes in it from under the table at midnight, if you work on your nervous system, add weight into the Earth zone of your home, create generosity in your life, meditate, elevate your spending, sniff glue making a vision board or lick markers drawing neurographics, you might not have to work ever again. At least that's the plan.

When expanding

make sure your laughter

isn't of the kind that shoves

you back into yourself

I'm feeling like an old lady babying my nervous system and at the same time like a kid taking things apart and discovering new worlds. I grew up in relationships that were built like the Babyl Tower - adrenaline equaled excitement. Except for a few calm moments I always chose threat & survival as passion & love. But now. Now I know from the deepest caves of my being that calm can be thrilling. Safety can be erotic. Stability can feel intoxicating. I've found a huge space in me that's all pleasure, and now I'm going to decorate it from my own source of seductive, quiet, exciting creation. Maybe I can even contract and expand in the same moment. Let's see what happens.

That killer is cute

I thought

and shook the walls

with laughter

That's all I've ever known -

adrenaline

Time to flip out

into erotic calm

Вышла я с собой на рамсы

разделась

засмеялась

наслаждалась

в лучах, в правде

в моменте

Какое счастье быть

женщиной

Какое счастье - 

быть!

Learning to regulate

And sitting here, post

in pure bliss

in warm sun love

in knowledge that 

I'm made

for pleasure

I feel complete

Connection is here

in my heart bones 

and my smile

at the realization

The search is over

I’m onto a new experiment.

If you see this and feel like it, you can send me money, any amount, even $1.

@alisa-severskaya

or

$alkaeighth

Receiving

or not

Both are fine

I Catherined

many a desire

for I believed they were

misgathered