My kid: "I don't want to get sad and ruin my makeup."
Now that's the level of nervous system control I strive for. It's called emotional modulation. Class over, y'all.

I need to go over the ocean. Stare my people in the face, talk about everything. Get soaked in their ideas, gestures, intonations, food. Go to theater. Go outside at night. Go to someone's dacha. Listen to the guitar. And cry myself empty of all things foreign.