Control Issues: Fall of the Summer

     It's overwhelming. People's lives are much overflowing with every emotion & every possible event. I feel all of it, and it's too much. I yearn to be alone, by myself - the only time I open up. In that empty space I am free, and I can feel myself, be me. Yet, there's little hope for advancement in solitude. Eventually I'd have to go out and spy, interact, react and take in. Please, me, let's be like flowing water - transparent in all ways, not letting anything get stuck, just flow, flow... and learn.

Photo: stolen

     He told me: "He printed a program for everyone. You have to realize, in those times not everyone could afford a rain umbrella, yet he always had a program for everyone who came to his concerts. How did he do it?!" Now that was some perspective. And a damn good question.

Photo: Ted Forbes

Go talk to her

   I'm listening to myself talk. No, scratch that. I'm listening to a recording of my conversation with a channeler. And I think to myself - if I didn't know the person talking (myself), what would I think of her? I think I would like to meet her, she seems interesting. What is she like? - I wonder. What am I like? I don't know. You don't know yourself?! You can't be serious. Where's the curiosity? Where have you been - lived a whole life with yourself and don't even know... how strange... We're strangers.

Illustration: Genevieve Bormes

Space that doesn't curve

     Blue in Green has overwhelmed me today. Memories had rushed back, memories of amazing musicians whose talent I got to bask in. I would wrap myself in music almost every day of my life, for years, and visit hidden worlds. The gratitude I feel towards all who share their love for life through art of everything is ... indescribable, immense, Hokusai's Wave big. I remember love because of them - the kind that comes from between our lives. I better go listen now, before the song ends...

I'm crocheting hats for the stars,
hugging
wind with my hair,

tracing footprints in my thoughts - 
looking for that wrong turn,
searching for the right path.

stamping smiles on the waves of emotions.

 

 

Song written on a guitar that was tuned as:
bottom string - маленькая серебряная овечка в космосе,
second string - empty hall, no audience,
third string - тёёёёплый шарф,
fourth string - melancholy,
fifth string - philosophical hot chocolate at midnight,
sixth string - a hip jazz musician.