When I slice off my dreads, there are tree rings in it. And I can see everything that my hair had absorbed into itself: laughs I've had, drug paraphernalia, clouds, moods, bug deaths, dances I've danced, food I've eaten ... there're also your thoughts in my hair, your words, your dreams, your past and present. Hidden rings hold it all, the rings that don't talk.

photo found on thisisnthappiness.com

I have a pony named Hobby, 
she eats chocolate off the floor 
when I'm too sleepy to tell where my mouth is. 
What a great friend!

It's cruel, so cruel to make me move. From one house onto the next, I wonder if it'll ever stop. I can spend weeks pretending it's not going to happen, not packing a single box, smiling at all my happily lush sunbathing plants. And what about the perfect chaos hidden from guests' eyes in every cabinet? What about all the chaos of perfection of my sunlit kitchen? The calmness of the bedroom? Do I have to disassemble all of it? Glass vase with dry branches on the windowsill ... the fragile balance of every mood filling the house - all gone with a switch of a vacuum. Dry hands from cleaning, bloated belly from junk food, dehydrated eyes, thin wrinkles around the lips - all so I don't sink into the calm "forever"; move, move. Slowly the space empties out, colors disappear, echo settles in. As if I've never been here before...

Today

     I thought to myself, "I regret you. I've never regretted anything in my life, but you - I regret."And that was my truth. But that's not very fair. I am glad for what happened; I am happy that now I can be free, I am happy and excited to find someone right for my small family. It's always easier to evolve with someone than by oneself, when that someone pushes you to the limit, opens you up to the world and to yourself. I got to see many colors and angles of myself, I know what to work on, in love. I

smile in deep gratitude for you, I'm thankful for every moment we've had. Life is beautiful. I wish your life to be magnificent!

Organic Perspective Matters

     I usually pace away from posts like this one ... however, it came out of me like an elephant, I was weak. 

     People reason that organic food is expensive, they can't afford it. I say, we can't afford to not eat organic. I've been poor, I know what's it like to go to the grocery store with 10 dollars. I still bought organic. I fed two people for a couple of days. And my cat still ate organic&raw. So I don't buy the expensive excuse. 

     We cannot afford to not buy organic. That "conventional" food people buy is poisonous. The FDA makes sure of it - they are supported by Large and Rich, supported by byproducts of toxic factories. Those organizations break into co-ops with loaded semi-automatics to stop the sales of raw organic milk, to protect the milk with puss it in from sick & miserable cows. The scientists say it would take millions of years to biodegrade the chemicals being produced today. Those chemicals are in our food. A lot of farmers get money from the government to use those chemicals. An organic farmer gets no financial assistance, and must pay for organic certification. If you only knew how much the organic farmer cares about you - to him you're family. Government farmer's food is nutritionally dead, it's grown for profit, not for love. When you buy non-organic, you support the production of life-destroying matter. When you go out to eat, you pay the restaurant to poison you. And the restaurant makes money off you. Off sick, depressed and fat you. 

      Yes, I said fat. It's the most offensive adjective today, nevermind the racial slurs, or the cuss words, or the homophobia. You call someone fat, you might as well be dead. When I first switched to organic years ago, I lost weight along with other health issues. I was 21 years old, what health issues?! Sad, isn't it?

     When you buy GMOs, when you buy non-organic, what you are doing is saying: "I don't care about my health, my children, my neighbor, and I sure as hell don't give a shit about my planet". When you buy non-organic, you drift away from the spiritual, from the source, from health and from magic. You pay greed to poison you and destroy your life. Because you can afford it, you say. 

      Please, I beg you, stop this madness. We are crazy. We've been used and abused. Please smile.  Support your local organic people. Please plant a seed today. Put your hands into earth and give it love. And love yourself, you're beautiful.