Brrrzooom

     When there's a dancing speck of light
     that I might think was meant for me,
     and then turns out that it wasn't...
     It feels like I'm a background
     that's getting old and quite annoying.
     But watch me spread my wits to fly,
     to publish articles of humour,
     to ooooh and aaaaw all who I meet,
     just to retreat and drink my tea. Alone.

Catching Time Catching Words

The Sun,
it bleaches the hair
yet darkens the skin
as I watch our kids in amazement.

My life

resembles my favourite version of

"Summertime"

They both stretch my soul in all directions

like taffy

And I ponder

should I go and retract it all

or just let the place be smeared

of me

Hilariously being the soundtrack to most mornings,
Humour is on a more playful edge.
Waiting for tea and bath water to soak into the floor.


Сегодня в архиве сообщений нашла одно такого содержания: "Buy you a coffee at the Cloud?" Это было три года назад. Я тогда не пошла на кофе, и, кажется, даже не ответила. С тех пор я чуть повзрослела и подумала про себя ту: "Ну и дура."


"Everyone wants to be the 127th." - numerical dreams.

"When you come to God with a skateboard, you start with ollies, together." - another one of my dreams.

Community. Gardens, building houses, sharing sleeping spaces. And then another one: communications are down, people are replacing machines and robots, new animals appearing, strange animals, and dead snakes everywhere. 

Once I met a man who seemed to me to be a serial killer. Not a steady-hand he-does-it-for-a-living type, but an eerie he-makes-soap-out-of-them kind. Years later I learned he had feelings for me and didn't know what to do. Meanwhile, I'm wondering why I hadn't fallen for him back then - seems like a perfect thing I would do!

Пока мы смотрели салют в соседнем городе, медведь открыл окно, взломал сетку от комаров и залез в нашу спальню. Взял с комода чашу с шоколадом, который я сделала утром, и откусил большой кусок. Шоколад ему не понравился, он выплюнул его на ковёр. Больше он ничего в комнате трогать не стал и вышел через то же окно. За медведем в комнату попала мышь. Ей шоколад тоже не понравился, и она забилась под мебель. Когда я вошла в спальню и включила свет, мышь выбежала из-под шкафа. Вот не обойтись без сахара в шоколаде! Нужно менять рецепт...

Посреди ночи мне пришлось установить мышеловку в спальне... Фу! А утром оказалось, что он, подлец, Миша этот, ещё и в мою машину залез, пока нас не было, разбив стекло... Эй, скука! Ты куда унырнула? Сто лет тебя не видала. Заходи на чай давай.

Read Me

I've been buried on every cemetery,

I've lived under all the stars,

The water knows me,

Rocks and trees carry my smell. 

Yet, when it comes to love...

I'm just as afraid as my first birth.

One day in May, or maybe June...
...
ah, yes!
One day, the Camelot, by fate, will sit you next to me.
We'll feel the moment, you'll probe at it and ask me for a ride.
My lot's been played so many times...
...
I hope it's to the ocean, the ride.

     Bound to be misunderstood, I shall try to rip the fetters. I am never completely satisfied. There's always a feeling of mystery that has a chance to light if I just dig a little longer. This is where my soul knows that I came here to learn patience, while I'm trying to rip things apart in a dizzying frenzy. Yet you know this too - there's no end to anything, there's always more... I search for stillness in my teatime, in my walking; but I can't even lay still on the floor, as I must do and look deeper.
     Recently I had learned a new technique in yoga. It stems from the sitting, forward bend asana, Paschimottanasana. As I achieve the pose, my awareness goes to the belly, searching for tension. The idea is to feel it and see where, from which event in life this tension comes from. And then live through it and release - in your own way. Every time I've come to that practice, my mind switched on and ran around the stockroom of memories, searching, hounding. Nothing.                         Today I came to it again. Somehow I didn't think, and it waltzed in - the event! Like a bright explosion it shone through to me, fast, bright, to the point. And I cried, for the first time in yoga.

 

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